That's why the lady is a tramp

Alright boys, here is one for you. It’s time for our favorite extremity…the penis.

Everyone knows the purpose (well, purposes) of the penis. You all know the basic anatomy. If you don’t know either of those: 1. how do I know you; and 2. you have problems. There is, however, a little part of the anatomy you may have never thought about. It is the part near the tip that bulges out and over the shaft. This projecting border is called the corona of the glans penis. (You can google the picture for yourself if you are still not sure what I'm talking about - but this is a family blog)

I should have impressed upon you by now that the human body does not waste time making things without a purpose. So what is the role of the corona? To answer that, you need to think of humans just like every other animal in the wild.

Sex is what drives evolution. It is a constant urge to produce offspring and pass along our genes into future generations. In nature this is what drives almost everything. In the vast majority of animals, the male must compete for the female. A male will find a female, they will boom boom pow and a little while later a baby will pop out and make a proud momma and daddy. But like some human girls, some animal girls are a little promiscuous and like to sleep around. The problem with mating with a loose girl is that the male cannot be certain that he’s da baby daddy. This is where nature steps in.

I posted before how it is actually very hard to get preggers. In animals that like to pull lots of tricks, nature created a few techniques to make some men a little more likely to become a dad. Longer penis lengths and higher sperm counts are two examples. The corona is another example – and the one I think is the most interesting.

If a girl mates with lots of boys then she will be full of swimmers looking for her most recently released egg (I picture a certain lesbian friend of mine reading this and making lots of faces and hand movements). You would think she was done sleeping around, but she decides to mate with one more guy. This guy is different – he has a larger corona than the rest of them. While mating (you know what is happening) the corona acts like a scraper. As it moves backwards, it will pull all of the other competitor’s swimmers out of the way. After clearing the area, his swimmers can then take off without any competition. Yup, that simple – it just sucks all of the other competition right out of the forbidden cavern.

How crazy is that?!

Obviously this anatomy lesson does not apply to most humans. It’s crazy to think that something so simple and subtle actually has such a significant function. And for it to still be around today, it must have worked great in the past for evolution to keep making it.