But I can't help it if I have a heavy flow and a wide-set vagina!

I am about to dive in and take you where very few men (and even less gay men) have ever dared go – into what exactly is going on inside all of the girls for that week when they feel they can be uber bitches!

Don’t worry – this will not be gross and unreadable. I am invoking a lot of euphemisms.

When you look inside the forbidden cavern (uterus) you will see lovely walls. These walls were your first bed and are actually made up of two main layers: the myometrium and the endometrium. The myometrium is on the bottom and provides the foundation of the endometrium. The endometrium is divided into two layers – we will just call them the top and bottom layers.

The entire endometrium is full of spiral blood vessels. Lots of blood is needed in this layer because it needs to stay in tip-top shape. When a woman decides to love a man very much and call the stork, the stork is going to plant the egg (technically a blastocyst) right on that endometrium. The spiral blood vessels will supply the developing baby with everything it needs to get started in life! A whole new story of events then starts, but for our sake, let’s says it was a dry month and no stork came knocking.

The girl’s body spent a lot of time getting the endometrium ready for a baby, but it doesn’t believe in giving sloppy seconds. With no baby stuck, hormone (progesterone) levels drop. Right there – progesterone is a strong hormone and changes in progesterone levels can cause bitchyness. With no hormone to keep the blood vessels happy, they start to coil and tighten up. This stops all blood flow to the outer layer of the endometrium (science terms: the functional layer becomes ischaemic). With no blood providing oxygen or nutrients, this layer dies and falls off. The body then expels this will a little help of muscles contractions (imagine the muscle like a broom, just pushing the stuff right out). These muscle contractions are your cramps, ladies.

The lower level of the endometrium stays around and after all of the upper layer is gone. It will begin to get blood again from the myometrium and start to build up a new upper layer/bed for next month’s stork visit.

See, that wasn’t so bad. I’m still glad to be a boy. And to be a boy that stays away from forbidden caverns.